i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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