Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
