Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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