remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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