You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize