just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
