if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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