Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
