He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
