i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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