Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
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there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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