just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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