found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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