I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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