How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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