Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
