I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
