So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
