proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
