in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
