I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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