awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She even gives head with a lisp.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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