I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize