Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
