Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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