i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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