OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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