i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
