The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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