i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
