her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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