Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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