my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
