Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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