How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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