My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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