At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
