Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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