I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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