Sry I called you an 8
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
