So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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