i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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