how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
