do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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