Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
