So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
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i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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