just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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