I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
