I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
