I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
