We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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