I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
