Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
