there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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