Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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