Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
