Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
