I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
