im drinking this country out of the recession.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize